Conan: Now, as I mentioned, there are a lot of people offended by Barack Obama's "Lipstick on a pig" comment, and uh, personally, I've been thinking about it, I believe they're reading too much into it. I don't think he meant to imply that Sarah Palin is actually a pig.
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: What? Are you kidding? This was a direct attack on Sarah Palin. Shame on Barack Obama! He's the pig! <looks around to the audience for agreement>
Conan: Okay, sir, I'm sorry, but I think you're overreacting.
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Overreacting?! This was just the latest in Obama's laundry list of tasteless Palin jabs!
Conan: Really? What are you talking about?
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Yeah, first, he keeps talking about how he's against drilling in Alaska. A direct shot at Palin's pregnant daughter who was drilled in Alaska! Very funny, Senator...
Conan: No, I don't think he-
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: And then he says he wants to end the Iraq war with honor. Get it, "hon-or"? Like Bristol Palin's boyfriend was "on her". It's a cheap shot, it's just tasteless!
Conan: Wait a, that's crazy!
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: No it's not! And how about Obama's constant call for "change" implying that Sarah Palin had a sex change!
Conan: Ok, sir, you're being ridiculous. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Molehill?! Oh, that's a low blow, Conan. Making fun of the giant mole on my hill-like penis. Shame on you!
Conan: Ok, sir, if you don't mind, I'd like to get right back to my show, ok?
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Right back?! Now you're making fun of the other hill-penis I have on the right side of my back! <shakes his head and glares at Conan>
Conan: <laughing> He's still really mad! I'm gonna tell who's on the show tonight. Is that ok, sir?
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Whatever, man...
Conan: Republicans I guess are still very upset about Barack Obama's "Lipstick on a Pig" comment that's got so much attention over the last couple days, and, uh, yeah. They're making a big deal of it. Personally, I think they're making a big deal out of this thing for nothing; for no reason. I really don't think - and I think a lot of people don't believe - that Obama meant to imply that Sarah Palin is a "pig".
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Oh, like hell he didn't! This is a direct attack on Sarah Palin! Shame on you, Barack Obama!
Conan: Sir, I'm sorry. I think you're overreacting.
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Oh yeah, right. Did you see what Obama said about the Iraq War? He said he wants a responsible withdrawal. Clearly implying that Bristol Palin's boyfriend didn't "withdraw responsibly". Low blow, Senator! You leave Bristol out of this!
Conan: No, I don't think he meant -
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Obama keeps saying that we should be more bipartisan, implying that "part of her son is bi". He's a teenager, leave him alone!
Conan: Sir, okay, you're really being ridiculous. I don't -
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Oohh, really, huh? How 'bout the environment? Obama says we should protect the ozone layer. Implying that he wants to get in Sarah Palin's "O-zone" and "lay her". Where does he get off?!
Conan: No no, really, I think that one's a bit of a stretch.
The Angry Sarah Palin Fan: Oh, a stretch. Ha ha, Conan. Like when I went to the emergency room with a "Stretch Armstrong" doll stuck in my rear end. That was an accident... both times!